Which player is this?

"Despite the low batting average, Player X used his power and plate discipline to plug Team Y's Vortex of Suck (new team name?) at designated hitter, batting .254/.343/.559 in that role from August 1 onward..."

Yeah datz right, got my Prospectus bitches! It's not a fan of my work so far this year.
~

Source: http://latticeofcoincidence.blogspot.com/2011/02/which-player-is-this.html

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